It’s that time of year. It’s why we close the office early on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve. The phone calls about holiday parenting time disputes. “Which parent is supposed to have the children on Thanksgiving this year?” “What time does my Christmas Eve parenting time begin?” “I have family in town and we have something special planned for Christmas Day, so can I switch times with my ex?” “Can we file an emergency motion with the court to force my ex to let me have the kids?”
All family law attorneys get the calls this time of year–the urgent questions and disputes over holiday parenting time with the children. Judges squeeze in telephonic mini-hearings to deal with the “emergency” motions that invariably are filed just as the judges are getting ready to take their holiday breaks. But how can these holiday parenting time disputes be avoided? There are three simple things parents, lawyers and judges can do to eliminate virtually all of the urgent calls to lawyers and emergency motions to judges about holiday parenting time disputes.
1. PARENTS: Be Flexible. Parenting plans are the documents that govern parenting time arrangements between parents, including which parent is entitled to certain holidays. These parenting plans are there to fall back on when the parents cannot agree. Judges encourage parents to cooperate and agree to make adjustments from time to time without involving the court. Parents need to be flexible with each other when making holiday parenting time arrangements. Allowing an extra hour here or there to accommodate the other parent goes a long way toward building goodwill and improving co-parenting down the road. Before parents call their attorneys, they should try to resolve holiday parenting time issues between themselves.
2. LAWYERS: Draft Precise Parenting Plans. Because parents who have divorced or otherwise separated may not always be able to agree on holiday parenting time, there will be instances where parents demand that the parenting plan be followed precisely. In these cases, the parenting plan must be precise. If it isn’t, the lawyer will certainly get a phone call. Drafting a parenting plan that simply says “mother will have the children on Christmas Day in even-numbered years and father in odd-numbered years” is insufficient. The holiday must be specifically defined using starting and ending dates and times. For example, the parenting plan instead could provide as follows: “‘Christmas Day’ shall begin at 10am on December 25 and end at 10am on December 26. Father shall have parenting time with the children on Christmas Day in even-numbered years, and Mother shall have parenting time with the children on Christmas Day in odd-numbered years.” This language would leave nothing in doubt as to which parent is entitled to have the children from 10am on December 25 until 10am on December 26.
3. JUDGES: Appoint Parenting Coordinators. Under Rule 74 of the Arizona Rules of Family Law Procedure and when the parents agree, judges have the authority to appoint a “parenting coordinator”, a type of special master who is delegated limited authority by the court to deal with certain parenting issues that may arise between the parents. Parenting coordinators are usually psychologists or experienced family law attorneys who choose to serve in this role. Parenting coordinators do NOT have authority to modify or even recommend a modification of legal decision-making authority or a significant change in parenting time, but parenting coordinators DO have the authority do deal with minor disputes, including disputes over holiday parenting time.
When a holiday parenting time dispute arises, the parents go to the parenting coordinator (“PC”) first before calling their attorneys or filing emergency motions. The PC attempts first to mediate an agreement, but if no agreement is reached, the PC may make a written recommendation to the judge for a temporary resolution of the dispute. Judges almost always immediately approve the PC’s recommendation as a temporary order, subject to either party’s right to request a hearing. With time-sensitive issues, the PC even has authority to make a binding decision, subject to later review by the court. A great many parenting time disputes are resolved at the PC stage and do not require any further involvement of attorneys or court hearings.
To review: Parents, be flexible. Lawyers, draft precise parenting plans. Judges, utilize parenting coordinators when the parents agree. Let’s see how nice this holiday season can be!
You can also view my video on holiday parenting time disputes below.
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