{"id":1773,"date":"2013-09-19T15:14:13","date_gmt":"2013-09-19T22:14:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/?p=1773"},"modified":"2019-11-23T22:26:37","modified_gmt":"2019-11-24T05:26:37","slug":"kids-dont-call-the-shots-in-custody-cases","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2013\/09\/19\/kids-dont-call-the-shots-in-custody-cases\/","title":{"rendered":"Kids Don’t Call the Shots in Custody Cases"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"thumbnailCAV860OH\"There is a common misconception that at age 12 or age 14, children in child custody cases get to decide<\/em> which parent they will live with. \u00a0 In fact, children don’t get the ultimate say until they are no longer legally children–when they reach age 18.<\/p>\n

Until children reach age 18, judges have the authority under Arizona law to decide child custody (now “legal decision-making”) and parenting time issues. \u00a0Judges don’t relish this authority. \u00a0They prefer that the parents themselves decide what is best for their children and simply submit an agreed-upon parenting plan to the court for approval.<\/p>\n

When parents do not agree, however, family court judges are charged with deciding child custody and parenting time in accordance with the children’s best interests. \u00a0Judges are specifically required by law to “consider all factors that are relevant to the child’s physical and emotional well-being”, including but not limited to all eleven factors delineated in A.R.S. Section 25-403.A.1-11.<\/p>\n

One of the eleven factors judges\u00a0must\u00a0<\/em>consider under A.R.S. Section 25-403.A relates to the child’s wishes. \u00a0A.R.S. Section 25-403.A.4 states that “if the child is of suitable age and maturity,

[the court shall consider] the wishes of the child as to legal decision-making and parenting time.” \u00a0Again, this is only one of many factors the judge considers. \u00a0It doesn’t automatically\u00a0trump<\/em> all the others.<\/p>\n

Sometimes what a child wants is not in her best interests. \u00a0Although a child naturally may gravitate to the home of the parent who doesn’t make the child do her homework, who doesn’t impose a curfew, and who allows the child to hole up in her room watching TV, those things are not best for the child. \u00a0Rather, it is in the child’s best interests to succeed in school, to learn to obey rules, to work hard and to adhere to reasonable boundaries. \u00a0If the other parent can offer more structure while still loving and nurturing the child, it may be best<\/em> for the child to spend more time in the home of the parent where the child would really prefer\u00a0not<\/strong> to be. \u00a0Judges must balance\u00a0all\u00a0<\/em>relevant factors in determining what parenting arrangement is best for the child overall.<\/p>\n

Still, as children get older, judges do in fact give more and more weight to their wishes. \u00a0This is probably based on the judges’ practical concerns. \u00a0A seventeen year-old who has a driver’s license and a car is difficult to control with a court order. \u00a0 The older child will usually just go where he wants to be. \u00a0Judges are well aware of this and are not inclined to force an older child to be with a parent he has stated he does not want to live with.<\/p>\n

In the end, it’s the parents–not judges or even the children–who should decide together what is best for their children. \u00a0Parents should then be united in presenting those decisions to their children. \u00a0Parents do a disservice to their children and themselves when they coddle and cater to their children in an effort to be the favorite and entice the children to live with them over the other parent. \u00a0Children learn quickly when parents are willing to allow themselves to be manipulated, and kids\u00a0will\u00a0<\/em>manipulate.<\/p>\n

Kids don’t call the shots in custody cases, except when their parents let them.<\/p>\n

Copyright © 2013 by Scoresby Family Law – J. Kyle Scoresby, P.C. All rights reserved.

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There is a common misconception that at age 12 or age 14, children in child […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":669,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[131,55,67,68],"class_list":["post-1773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-child-custody","tag-childrens-best-interests","tag-legal-decision-making","tag-parenting-plan","tag-parenting-time"],"yoast_head":"\nKids Don't Call the Shots in Custody Cases - Arizona Divorce & Family Law Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2013\/09\/19\/kids-dont-call-the-shots-in-custody-cases\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kids Don't Call the Shots in Custody Cases - 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