{"id":704,"date":"2011-09-17T00:16:29","date_gmt":"2011-09-17T07:16:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/?p=704"},"modified":"2022-01-31T16:57:32","modified_gmt":"2022-01-31T23:57:32","slug":"my-spouse-is-having-an-affair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/","title":{"rendered":"My Spouse is Having an Affair"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sadly, I hear these words all too often from clients in my office: “My spouse is having an affair.”\u00a0 Infidelity is rampant in our society.\u00a0\u00a0We\u00a0not only tolerate it, but\u00a0movies and television almost seem to promote it.\u00a0 It is one of the most common causes of divorce. \u00a0In fact, it is\u00a0probably not the cause<\/em> of many divorces, but it is often the final outward act that motivates the offended spouse to seek a divorce.\u00a0 In truth, I believe the real\u00a0reason<\/em> for most divorces is the deterioration of the relationship over time that results from repeated selfish, unkind and unloving actions by one or both partners.<\/p>\n

So why am I writing this?\u00a0 I’m a divorce lawyer, and adultery keeps me in business, right?\u00a0 Yes,\u00a0I suppose that’s true.\u00a0 But\u00a0 one of my primary responsibilities is to help and counsel my clients, and whether my client has had an affair or is married to a person who has, I am often in a position to offer counsel.<\/p>\n

In this regard, the first thing I always explore with my divorce clients–those who have been unfaithful as well as those whose spouses have–is whether there is a possibility of reconciliation.\u00a0 See<\/em> my “Seven Deadly Sins” article (Sin Number 1)\u00a0on the Articles page of my website.\u00a0 An extramarital affair is NOT the death knell of every marriage.\u00a0 If husbands and wives are both willing to repent, forgive, and make real changes in their lives, many marriages can be saved\u00a0after one spouse has had an affair.<\/p>\n

If reconciliation fails, however, my counsel to a divorce client whose spouse has had an affair is to try to not allow hurt and anger influence her decisions in the divorce case. \u00a0Although an extramarital affair may seem to a client to be the overriding reason for the divorce, it is important for the client to understand that the affair has little if any impact legally<\/em> in a divorce. \u00a0It is simply not legally relevant.<\/p>\n

With the exception of rare “covenant” marriages, Arizona has a no-fault divorce law.\u00a0 A person does not have to prove grounds for\u00a0a divorce.\u00a0 All that is required is a belief by one<\/em> of the partners that the marriage is irretrievably broken.\u00a0 See<\/em> A.R.S. Sec. 25-312 (3). \u00a0An extramarital affair, therefore, has no legal bearing on whether a person is entitled to obtain a divorce in Arizona.<\/p>\n

Similarly, an affair usually has no impact on the division of assets.\u00a0 Arizona divorce judges are required to divide marital property “equitably, . . . without regard to marital misconduct.”\u00a0 A.R.S. Sec. 25-318 (A). \u00a0The exceptions to this rule are extremely limited, and it is very difficult for an offended spouse to win reimbursement of half of the monies spent by the cheating spouse in pursuing the affair.<\/p>\n

Finally, an extramarital affair has virtually no impact on the judge’s child custody decisions. \u00a0Most individuals who engage in extramarital relationships do so on the sly. \u00a0They keep the affair hidden from their spouse and children. \u00a0Under these circumstances, it is very difficult to argue that the affair has harmed the children<\/em> in some way. \u00a0Most judges today simply will not consider any evidence of an extramarital affair in making child custody decisions.<\/p>\n

In sum, many marriages can be saved even after one spouse has had an affair. When reconciliation efforts fail, however, both spouses should try to accept that the affair is not legally <\/em>relevant in \u00a0Arizona, and they should not allow the affair to influence their decisions pertaining to their divorce case.<\/p>\n

Copyright \u00a9 2011, 2022 by Scoresby Family Law \u2013 J. Kyle Scoresby, P.C. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sadly, I hear these words all too often from clients in my office: “My spouse […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[13],"class_list":["post-704","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-child-custody","tag-no-fault-divorce"],"yoast_head":"\nMy Spouse is Having an Affair - Arizona Divorce & Family Law Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Spouse is Having an Affair - Arizona Divorce & Family Law Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sadly, I hear these words all too often from clients in my office: “My spouse […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arizona Divorce & Family Law Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-09-17T07:16:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-01-31T23:57:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"SFLadmin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"SFLadmin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"SFLadmin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/24d0e6438c2b80e3aed92036129e7cf7\"},\"headline\":\"My Spouse is Having an Affair\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-09-17T07:16:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-01-31T23:57:32+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/\"},\"wordCount\":611,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"No Fault Divorce\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Child Custody & Visitation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/17\/my-spouse-is-having-an-affair\/\",\"name\":\"My Spouse is Having an Affair - 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