It's not about the money; it's the principle!

We’ve all heard people say, “it’s not about the money; it’s the principle!” There may be some truth to that phrase, but when you’re dividing up assets in a divorce, you better consider the money and not just the principle. There’s another phrase common among lawyers that goes like this: “a person only sues on principle once.” It means that when a person realizes he has spent much more on attorney’s fees fighting for what he was rightfully entitled to than the value of the thing he was fighting for, he learns from that mistake and doesn’t do it again.

This is a common theme in divorce litigation. Clients often are so caught up in trying to make sure they get every item and every cent they are entitled to that they don’t step back and consider the cost of the fight. Is that microwave oven really worth paying for an hour of your lawyer’s time to negotiate for it? Not unless it’s gold-plated. Is it really worth $2,000 in legal fees to make sure you get the washer and dryer? You could buy a brand new set for half that.

I once heard a story about a divorce case where the lawyers had met with the couple at their home to help them divide up their household goods. After some negotiation, everything was divided except for a vase that the husband and wife both felt they were entitled to. The fighting over this vase went on for some time. Finally, the lawyers met privately and agreed that they would “accidentally” break the vase. The lawyers then carried out their plan, and once the vase was broken, the husband and wife both agreed it wasn’t important anyway and their case settled.

I’m not condoning lawyers’ destroying their clients’ property, but the story illustrates a point. People going through divorce litigation, specifically litigation regarding the assets, should do their best to set aside the hurt and anger and to view the case as a business transaction. They should consider the costs and benefits of every action they take in the case and take only the actions that make sense financially. Good lawyers are not only zealous advocates for their clients but also wise counselors who help their clients perform this cost/benefit analysis in their cases from beginning to end.