{"id":1101,"date":"2011-12-08T03:46:53","date_gmt":"2011-12-08T03:46:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/?p=1101"},"modified":"2019-07-08T16:00:20","modified_gmt":"2019-07-08T23:00:20","slug":"divorce-mediation-successes-and-failures","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/12\/08\/divorce-mediation-successes-and-failures\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce Mediation Successes and Failures"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I had two contrasting experiences with mediation this week.\u00a0 Yesterday I served as judge <em>pro tem<\/em>\u00a0mediator on a divorce case.\u00a0 The case was one of a 25-year marriage with two children (one minor) and three pieces of real estate.\u00a0 The case settled in full after a three-hour mediation.\u00a0 Each party in that case will likely save $10,000 to $30,000 in legal fees they would otherwise\u00a0have spent preparing for trial but for the settlement reached yesterday.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Today I represented a husband at a divorce\u00a0mediation involving a 29-year marriage, one minor child, two pieces of real estate, and several retirement accounts.\u00a0 The result &#8212; no issues settled.\u00a0 Each party will likely now spend $20,000 to $30,000 or more in additional legal fees preparing for and handling the trial of the case a couple of months from now.\u00a0\u00a0 In the end, both the husband and wife will probably also\u00a0be somewhat dissatisfied with the trial result.\u00a0\u00a0 Putting really important decisions in the hands of a judge who only has a few hours to learn about you, your kids and your stuff can be very unsettling.<\/p>\n<p>Why the difference?\u00a0 Was\u00a0the mediator in the successful mediation simply better than the mediator in the unsuccessful case?\u00a0 Were the lawyers in the successful case more competent or prepared than\u00a0those in the unsuccessful case?\u00a0 In my opinion, no.\u00a0 Both mediators are experienced, competent family law attorneys who understand the law and nuances of tough divorce cases.\u00a0 The attorneys on both cases were knowledgeable, prepared and open to reasonable compromise in order to reach a settlement.<\/p>\n<p>The difference in the two cases was the parties.\u00a0 In the successful case, both the husband and wife came prepared to make concessions in order to get the case resolved.\u00a0 They were motivated to settle and move on with their lives.\u00a0 They were NOT out to get revenge.<\/p>\n<p>In the unsuccessful case, by contrast, the wife simply was not ready emotionally to settle.\u00a0 Instead of making financial decisions based on a logical, cost\/benefit analysis and based on what is reasonable under Arizona law, she was motivated by a desire to punish her husband for what she saw as his wrongdoing.\u00a0 Because she was driven by\u00a0vindictiveness, she was unable to make good decisions about appropriate settlement terms.\u00a0 She maintained unreasonable positions and left the husband with no choice but to proceed to trial, where the result could not possibly be worse for him than the terms on which the wife was willing to settle.<\/p>\n<p>Some benefits can still be realized from a mediation that does not result in a complete settlement.\u00a0 Sometimes the issues can be narrowed for trial.\u00a0 The lawyers\u00a0may agree on information and documents that need to be exchanged before trial.\u00a0\u00a0In my &#8220;unsuccessful&#8221; mediation today, I felt I learned some\u00a0valuable information\u00a0about the positions the wife would be taking at trial and\u00a0about what we would need to do to make our best case at trial.\u00a0 The optimum outcome of any mediation, however, is a complete settlement of all issues.\u00a0 For that to happen, both parties need to come truly prepared, emotionally and otherwise, to reach\u00a0a deal.<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2011 by Scoresby Family Law \u2013 J. Kyle Scoresby, P.C. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I had two contrasting experiences with mediation this week.\u00a0 Yesterday I served as judge pro [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[88,98],"class_list":["post-1101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mediation","tag-settlement","tag-trials"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Divorce Mediation Successes and Failures - Arizona Divorce &amp; Family Law Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/scoresbyfamilylaw.com\/blog\/2011\/12\/08\/divorce-mediation-successes-and-failures\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Divorce Mediation Successes and Failures - Arizona Divorce &amp; 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